Come see the amazing Jesus and win a prize!

For those of you who don't know, I have begun an internship with Refuge Community Church. Part of my job description is to help establish a presence on a few college campuses in the Denver metro area. Being that Colorado Christian University is closest, we decided to start there. On Friday, CCU had a church fair so that incoming students could check out some of the churches in the area and see if there was one they might like to attend.

On my way to the fair I called Chris (pastor of Refuge) because he was running late. I asked him what I should put on the table. He told me to just wear my Refuge shirt and put out my business cards, we should go for the minimalistic thing. When I walked in, I found glorious church info tables everywhere. Every church there had massive signs, pretty table cloths with their names on them, pamphlets, handouts, magnets, and catchy Christian phrases (my favorite). Many churches were even giving away candy or other prizes. Clearly, I had come quite unprepared. The whole thing felt very weird and dirty.

I found the lady who was coordinating the event and she lead me to our designated area. However, we were unable to set up at our table because one of the churches had brought so much stuff that they had overwhelmed our table and there was no longer any room for us! I found that situation incredibly illustrative and hilarious. I was shown to a different table. I sat down, put out my business cards and threw an extra Refuge t-shirt on the table, so people could at least read our name.

The results of the day were amazing. We were one of the most popular tables and people consistently told me that they loved that we didn't have anything out trying to woo college students over to our table. I even had a few people say that this was their favorite set up and that they were immediately drawn to it. I told people throughout the day that I didn't think Jesus would throw candy at people in order to get them to follow. Just about everybody agreed, smiling that they didn't think He would do that either.

Is the gospel not good enough? If it is, are American Churches living out the gospel? Do we need to sweeten the deal with some fun size crunch bars? (if that's your approach then get real, because snickers is where it's at). Jesus had a man come up to Him and say, "I want to follow you." The softball of church questions. Jesus said, "Then go and sell everything you have." The man left and was very sad. Perhaps if He had given Him some candy and said, "let me tell you about our mission," things might have gone a bit better.

I'm not a Christian

So something interesting happened the other day. A few weeks ago I had to go to the hospital (SPOILER ALERT: I'm fine). I took an elbow to the head in basketball, five days later I was still in pain, parents convinced me to go to the ER, so I went.

Once I sat on the bed the nurse came in to ask me some questions. She started off with the normal questions, height, weight, celebrity look alike (I saw her pencil in Brad Pitt). Then a question I haven't normally heard in these types of situations came up. "Do you have a religious preference?" I'm not sure why, but I was taken back by the question and wasn't sure what to say. The first thing that came to my head was, Christian, but I hardly ever use that word to identify myself (I normally say that I am a follower of Jesus). The next thing that came to my head was to say, follower of Jesus but I wasn't sure if she had to check a box or write my answer in, and I was pretty sure there was no box that said, "follower of Jesus." The whole situation was getting too complicated in my head so I simply responded, "No, I don't."

We moved on as usual and I am guessing that she never caught the subtitle of the book I was reading which read, "What is Jesus worth to you?" The nurse exited after asking me everything she needed to know and I was left with my thoughts of why I had reacted in such a strange manner to her simple question and why someone who works in ministry identified as having no religious preference. I came to realize it is because the word Christian doesn't mean to the world what it means to me.

According to a very scholarly source (wikipedia) 76% of Americans identify themselves as Christians. To me, to be a Christian is no simple identity to take on. Peter Rollins writes a parable in which the world is in a battle with Christians. In his story, a man is on trial for being a Christian, which in this world is illegal, and the world holds the following stance; "The court is indifferent toward your Bible reading and church attendance; it has no concern for worship with words and a pen. Continue to develop your theology, and use it to paint pictures of love. We have no interest in such armchair artists who spend their time creating images of a better world. We exist only for those who would lay down that brush and their life, in a Christlike endeavor to create a better world. So, until you live as Christ and his followers did, until you challenge this system and become a thorn in our side, until you die to yourself and offer your body to the flames, until then, my friend, you are no enemy of ours."

That very last line really gets me, "Until then you are no enemy of ours." I get that and that resonates in my heart. To be a Christian, to be a follower of Jesus is to be an enemy of the world (see 1 John 2:15, Romans 12:2). If people heard the word Christian and were afraid of what it might mean, I might want to use it. I do have interest in reclaiming the word, but the last thing I believe that Jesus and his followers were was normal. I believe they were different in a challenging way, after all, most of them got killed.

I don't think that everybody needs to feel the same way that I do. However, that word means just about nothing in my mouth. If I could go back to the situation with the nurse, I wish I would have said something to the effect of, "well I am a follower of Jesus, but you can just write down Christian if you want."

Nature and Mourning Death

Today was an interesting day. I spent the afternoon going on a hike and the evening mourning the death of victims of some recent homicides.

Cut to this evening. I meet with a group on Tuesday nights called Access which is dedicated to spiritual formation and engaging in poverty. There have recently been some people on the periphery of our group who have been the victims of homicide. Tonight we gathered to mourn these deaths and to reclaim the places of tragedy as places of peace. It was a very powerful evening for me.

We gathered outside the Denver Rescue Mission and stated that we recognized that somebody was killed here and that this was a moment of injustice and a failure of peace. We stated as a group that we were reclaiming this spot as a place for peace and justice and would do our best to bring Jesus to this city, and to this place, so that these things do not happen as much.

As I stood in this location in the middle of the city of Denver so much made sense to me. I felt like if Jesus were here today (and please don't say "Jesus is everywhere") I mean if He was walking around in Denver today, I feel like He would have been there. Right by all of the drug addicts, where people were being killed, where women are prostituting themselves, etc...

It was interesting to contrast this with how I spent my morning hiking. I love seeing God in nature and wondering what He was thinking when He created that mountain, how he came up with the color blue for the sky, are there other spots in nature that God created that no person will ever touch?

But when I was in the city is where I felt Jesus. That's where Jesus is. At the end of the day I came up with the thought that God shows us beauty and we can worship Him in all of His creation, but Jesus came here to show us how to live. It's great to go see God in nature, but Jesus would probably be hanging out in the city most of the time.

Bin Laden

Lots of emotions right now. I don't expect to win over everybody with what I am going to write. As soon as the death of Osama Bin Laden was announced I felt very strange. As I watched people celebrate in the streets of DC (on the news) something didn't feel right.

Celebrating the fact that somebody was killed just doesn't seem like something Jesus would have us do.

I think what I found most interesting was the fact that we were so thankful that no Americans were harmed in this operation. I don't think that God looks at Americans and is happy that they survived any more than He is happy when somebody from Saudi Arabia or anywhere else lives to see another day. We are all people of God. There is no American or Pakistani. There is only those that God loves.

I stole this piece of scripture from Megan Duhon's facebook.

Do you think I take any pleasure in the death of wicked men and women? Isn't it my pleasure that they turn around, no longer living wrong but living right - really living? -Ezekiel 18:23

And this piece from Richard Doe's

Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.” Proverbs 24:17

It sucks when somebody is killed. My heart hurts right now.

One thing I do want to add is that I am very happy to see that more people are reacting negatively to the celebration of this death than positively.

So I wrote a song

A few days ago I wrote a song. But first, some back story...

About a year ago my cousin was involved in a very serious DUI accident. The past year has been rough on him and my family and he has been facing time in prison.

On April 20, I was thinking a lot about the situation. I was thinking how hard this has been on my aunt to watch her son go through this process and I decided to write a song about it. Later that day my mom called me with some bad news and told me that my cousin had been sentenced to 3-6 years on that day. I hadn't really kept up much with the process to be honest and had no idea that he would even be going to court that day.

It is truly amazing to see that God put that in my heart during one of the hardest days of my aunt's life. I'm usually the first person to write something off as a coincident but if this isn't proof that God is looking over us in times of need, I'm not sure what is.

I decided that I would make a quick video of the song to send to my aunt to try and comfort her. You can see it here.

Heaven might hurt a bit...

Yes, I am still reading Love Wins which is making me write all this stuff. None the less, here we go again.

We talk about Heaven as if we will be so much different when we get there. We say, "When you get to Heaven, you won't care about that." I pray that being in the presence of all that is good, true, and love will make me no longer long for what is rich, lust, and full of worldly pleasure. But what if that's not the case? What if you don't have a change of heart right when you die? What if you die and still feel exactly the same except you are not faced 100 percent with the your evil and selfish self?

If that were the case, Heaven would probably be more painful than joyful. But isn't being real always better than being fake? Think about when you have repressed pain. Once you finally embrace the pain and have that real hard cry, you know the one that Dane Cook talks about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVrW3zat2To (not for the faint hearted), it feels good. Yes, your heart hurts, but it's like being able to see for the first time. There is a birth to your healing which comes at the death of your denial.

Jesus allows us to die now. We can birth our healing at the moment we let the pain die. If we still love choosing ourselves right now, why would we suddenly no longer want to constantly satisfy ourselves after we die? Might as well start preparing now, because Heaven could be a very rude awakening.

Eternity Can Begin Now

The Perry Bible Fellowship is a hilarious online comic. The fact that they have the word Bible in their name and this comic is about Heaven is purely coincidental as religion is rarely a theme in their comics.

I am currently reading "Love Wins" by Rob Bell. The recent chapter on Heaven has had me asking serious questions already. I think that I will have to read this book twice in order to really grasp all of the concepts. But as I was reading the book last night, I remembered this comic. It still makes me laugh but I think there is a ton of truth to this comic.

We have this idea that Heaven is a far away floaty place where things don't exist there as they do on Earth. Is there really no billiards table in Heaven? Do people play the piano in Heaven or do we only play harps? Can I play basketball in Heaven? I like basketball, I want to keep playing it even after I die. If God responded to me, "Do you really need to play basketball?" I would probably mutter, "this sucks."

Does Heaven begin here and now? Does Hell begin here and now? Do we still have to work in Heaven? Where did we come up with the concept that we suddenly know everything once we get to Heaven? Where did we come up with the concept that we don't care about certain things once we get to Heaven (such as why people we love might not be there, how the Earth came into existence)? Do we still eat in Heaven? Do we sleep in Heaven? God created those things to be pleasing, I feel like we would still do those things. If we do eat in Heaven can you eat food that is terrible for you?

I don't necessarily have answers to these questions. But I do like to ask them.

Maricela

*Break from the story to tell this one*

Yesterday my roommate came home declaring that he had seen a “Bum Shift Change” earlier that day. The story he proceeded to tell me only confirmed what I thought this meant. He had seen a dude standing on a street corner holding a sign that says “Anything Helps.” A white truck then pulled up, another dude got out of the car and they exchanged the sign for the keys. The previous guy on the corner then drove off in the car and the dude who had pulled up was now holding a sign saying “Anything Helps.”

We hear a lot of stories about the needy just looking for free hand outs or not really wanting to help themselves. And to be honest, I haven’t yet decided where I stand on the issue of handing out money to people. Brian Fikkert says that when we give money to those on the streets we are just enabling bad habits, which I agree with. However, Shane Claibourne says that when it comes to people asking for money, we should error on the side of grace rather than the side of judgement and that we don’t ask car salesmen what they are going to be spending their money on, which I also agree with. At this time, I have no resolve for the discussed problem, but I do have a short story!

This is Maricela (yes I did creepily take this picture this morning on my phone while pretending to text). She stands at the corner of 15th and Court and sells breakfast burritos every morning. They cost $2.50 and come with with egg, cheese, potato, and your choice of meat. She is always smiling and happy to take your order (even though from the time you order to the time you are eating the burrito is about 30 seconds).

It is obvious that Maricela does not have much money, but she is doing something about it. Perhaps it might be difficult for her to get a job in an office making a lot of money but she understands that making some money every morning is better than nothing. Honestly, she’s probably making more an hour then I am at the rate she sells these things. I think she is in the middle of a transaction every time I walk by. But she’s not asking for any handouts. People need breakfast every morning and the biggest reason I buy burritos from her is because it’s fast and easy. And she treats her customers with love. She knows that I always get egg, cheese, and potato with a strip of green chili sauce inside. She remembers me every day and says hi to me whether I buy a burrito or not. She doesn’t remember my name but some people at work still call me Colton, so I don’t fault her for that.

Take note of the people you encounter throughout the day who are trying to make it for themselves. And if you work downtown, you should try to make it by 15th and Court for a breakfast burrito. I’ve grown quite fond of them!

But I want to be on THAT mountain

A good friend once gave me an analogy when it comes to learning and growing. So, imagine that you are standing on a mountain and it has a really great view. You look out around and see the beautiful sunset and realize how great it is to be on the mountain and how you can see so much more then you could before, when you were at the base of the mountain. But then you notice behind you is a mountain that is pretty close by and it’s even bigger! So you think, “Wow, if the view is so great from up here, I bet the view will be even better up there.”

So you decide that you want to go stand on the bigger mountain. However, the only way to get to this mountain is to climb down the mountain that you are already standing on. So you begin to make your way down the mountain, which often times climbing down a mountain can be harder than climbing up (I am always much more likely to slip). With each step you take down the mountain you sacrifice some of the view that you once had. The more you descend the more beauty you sacrifice until you get to the bottom where you can hardly see anything.

And then you have to climb all the way up the other mountain. You know that it’s going to be better than the previous mountain, which is probably your only motivation to keep climbing. Although you also probably wonder why you ever got off the initial mountain in the first place. The previous view was fine and you would much rather be enjoying your time there than having to trek up this other mountain. But once you get to the top of this mountain you can see even better then before. It’s even more beautiful and you wonder why you wasted so much time on that other mountain. But you couldn’t have gotten to the tip of this mountain without climbing down the other one and then climbing up this one.

Sometimes in order to learn or grow, we must first unlearn what we already knew or break down what was previously there, in order to start something new. Is it possible that the way you have looked at everything before was wrong? You’ll never know unless you begin to take the things that you know, uproot them, and call them into question.

I tell this story because this is relevant in my life…I’ll explain the next time I write.

My Blog

So, I have been writing for a while now but mainly just saving my entries in a word document on my computer. I thought it might be time to start posting online. So here's something I wrote a few months ago:

I recently saw the movie It’s kind of a funny story starring Zach Galifanakis. The movie is about a 16 year old boy who checks himself into a suicidal ward for he is afraid that he might kill himself. He had been feeling depressed for a while but the moment he gets into the ward he regrets his decision and would rather go back on the outside.

There is one particularly memorable scene in the movie where the main character along with Bobby (Zach Galifanakis) sneak off to a gym located in different wing of the hospital in order to shoot some hoops. After they are done messing around they end up lying on the ground reflecting a bit on the afternoon and life in general.

Bobby begins to go over his life and how messed up everything is. At this point we have learned that he has an 8 year old daughter and an ex wife who belittles him to the likes of the age of their respective daughter. Bobby confides in the main character that he has tried to kill himself six times, can’t hold down a job, and is going to be homeless when he checks out of the ward. You can see through his thick beard and poor complexion that the opportune life he once had has all but diminished.

You can then see Bobby turn his eyes to the main character (Craig) as he begins his analysis of his friend. He tells Craig how he is cool, smart, funny, talented, and all the things that he has going for him. You can hear the respectful envy in his voice but even more you can see it in his face. And then Bobby says what I believe to be the most memorable line in the movie. He begins to say, “If I were you,” and then at that point you can see him search for the result of what Bobby would do if he were indeed Craig. You can see his mind come up with idea after idea of what he would do by the second. As if his mind starts with meet a girl, play an instrument, learn, study, create, build, laugh, dance, etc. It is as this point you see Bobby start to search for perhaps a more broad term to use such as set goals or spend time with friends, but what Bobby lands on is so pure. He finishes the line by saying, “If I were you, I would just live.”

The thing that Bobby would do if he had all of the opportunity that Craig has is just live. He would enjoy his life.

This makes me wonder which person I am. Am I the person who has thrown my life away and now needs to make the best of what I have? The person who is wishing that I had all of the opportunities of other people in the world? Wishing that I was talented, smart, funny, and cool? Or am I the person who has the ability to live, is smart, talented, funny, and cool and wishes that I had everything else?

I know what the answer is. I’m Craig. In ways we all are. We’re all wanting more things before we can truly live. What we never think about is what we would do if we were one step behind. We are always thinking about what we are going to do when we get one step forward. The truth is, everybody who is one step behind where we are, is thinking what they would do if they got to where we are.