My Blog

So, I have been writing for a while now but mainly just saving my entries in a word document on my computer. I thought it might be time to start posting online. So here's something I wrote a few months ago:

I recently saw the movie It’s kind of a funny story starring Zach Galifanakis. The movie is about a 16 year old boy who checks himself into a suicidal ward for he is afraid that he might kill himself. He had been feeling depressed for a while but the moment he gets into the ward he regrets his decision and would rather go back on the outside.

There is one particularly memorable scene in the movie where the main character along with Bobby (Zach Galifanakis) sneak off to a gym located in different wing of the hospital in order to shoot some hoops. After they are done messing around they end up lying on the ground reflecting a bit on the afternoon and life in general.

Bobby begins to go over his life and how messed up everything is. At this point we have learned that he has an 8 year old daughter and an ex wife who belittles him to the likes of the age of their respective daughter. Bobby confides in the main character that he has tried to kill himself six times, can’t hold down a job, and is going to be homeless when he checks out of the ward. You can see through his thick beard and poor complexion that the opportune life he once had has all but diminished.

You can then see Bobby turn his eyes to the main character (Craig) as he begins his analysis of his friend. He tells Craig how he is cool, smart, funny, talented, and all the things that he has going for him. You can hear the respectful envy in his voice but even more you can see it in his face. And then Bobby says what I believe to be the most memorable line in the movie. He begins to say, “If I were you,” and then at that point you can see him search for the result of what Bobby would do if he were indeed Craig. You can see his mind come up with idea after idea of what he would do by the second. As if his mind starts with meet a girl, play an instrument, learn, study, create, build, laugh, dance, etc. It is as this point you see Bobby start to search for perhaps a more broad term to use such as set goals or spend time with friends, but what Bobby lands on is so pure. He finishes the line by saying, “If I were you, I would just live.”

The thing that Bobby would do if he had all of the opportunity that Craig has is just live. He would enjoy his life.

This makes me wonder which person I am. Am I the person who has thrown my life away and now needs to make the best of what I have? The person who is wishing that I had all of the opportunities of other people in the world? Wishing that I was talented, smart, funny, and cool? Or am I the person who has the ability to live, is smart, talented, funny, and cool and wishes that I had everything else?

I know what the answer is. I’m Craig. In ways we all are. We’re all wanting more things before we can truly live. What we never think about is what we would do if we were one step behind. We are always thinking about what we are going to do when we get one step forward. The truth is, everybody who is one step behind where we are, is thinking what they would do if they got to where we are.